I'll keep you my dirty little secret
by Sticktoyourguns
Summary: Post glee- Santana coming to grips with how messed up her and Brittany's relationship was, finding comfort in an old friend, and struggling with how she feels. Quinntana/Brittana. Rated M just to be safe.*All characters belong to Ryan murphy*
1. Chapter 1

It had been a terrible break-up and Santana hadn't expected anything less. The final memories of her and Brittany's last month together kept running through her head, the fighting, the lying, the sneaking around behind each other's backs had become too much for the duo to keep up with and honestly, Santana knew it was her fault. Her anger and jealousy had become too much to handle, as expected, and finally the Latina found herself emotionally exhausted by the world and planned on hiding inside her now empty apartment until she couldn't stand her thoughts anymore.

Her phone was vibrating again. It's been two weeks, three days, four hours and what seemed like yesterday since the break-up and somehow the world had heard about it. But Santana just wasn't in the mood for Pucks attempt at jokes, Mike's attempts at distractions, or Rachael's rants on how situations like these make you stronger. "Garbage…" She mumbled under her breath, lifting a lazy head from her pillow to look at the phone that was forever going off, expecting it to be the same people who just won't let her be alone. New voicemail flashed across her screen as she dialed it, holding it loosely to her ear, "You have three new messages, first message Saturday, December third, eight o clock pm. Tana its Rach, I found an interesting article on coping with loss, it says…" Before the annoying hobbit had a chance to go one, Santana immediately hit seven to erase this message. "Message deleted, new message Saturday, December third, Eight fifteen PM, Hey Santana come to this party with me and Mike, it's going to be a blast, plenty" Again hitting seven, Santana knew what he was going to say. Plenty of single ladies looking for love; it was like taking a bullet all over again. Santana wanted nothing to do with women, even if her hormones said otherwise. "Message deleted, new message, Saturday, December third, Ten o eight Pm" There was silence behind this message causing the girl to immediately wonder if it was Brittany.

Almost wanting it to be.

"Hey San…" A familiar voice spoke softly into the phone, "Look I know we didn't really leave high school on the best of terms but Puck called me because he's worried and as you know…that's rare for the boy. Look I'm not trying to feed you some bullshit about how it'll make you stronger or it'll hurt less eventually. I'm just saying if you need someone too actually listen or just hang out with, I'm here. I've been through it enough to know how it feels, give me a call sometime."

Santana stared at her phone with knitted brows. Quinn Fabray. That name hasn't crossed her mind in such a long time it was odd thinking of the blonde she was friends with so long ago. A few weeks before high school was out, a party over at Puckermens got way out of hand as they usually did being the reason the beautiful blonde and her no longer spoke.

_The music was loud and the people were plenty, each adding to the pile of alcohol in the kitchen so it was needless to say everyone had quite a few drinks. Brittany was wild when she was drunk, always leaving the Latina in a terrible mood as she watched her girlfriend throw herself at basically every guy around and on that particular day, Santana felt the need to be more vengeful then usual towards the women she claimed to love. Storming through the long hallway towards the kitchen, Santana looked for her target; anyone she could use to make her feel better about what was going on around her. A laugh was heard towards the fridge, a laugh that always made Santana smirk knowing how ungenuine it truly was considering she knew the girl since the summer before freshmen year. Quinn Fabray was leaning against the fridge, her usual herd of boys gawking around her each trying to show off for her attention. But Quinn wasn't interested. If she was, her eyes wouldn't have wondered over to the olive colored girl with the bad attitude who had been staring at her from the door way. By the looks of it, the fair skin Quinn must have had enough drinks in her to make her usually uptight self look relaxed enough to be leaning against the fridge as if it were her only way to stop gravity from bringing her down. Target acquired. _

_Pushing through two guys from the football team, She grabs the blondes free hand not giving her a choice but to follow, "Out of the way nimrods" She bites harshly at the group of guys who were now confused on why she was taking away their eye candy. Pulling Quinn behind her, Santana made her way towards the nearest empty room, "Wheres exactly are yous taking me?" Quinn asked in a sloppy giggle not really putting forth a fight to get away from her. Not answering the girl but rather closing the door behind her before pushing her into it probably rougher then is actually necessary for the drunken princess. Letting her face fall inches away from Quinn's, one hand propped on the door, while the other steadied on the blondes hip whose face was no longer smiling, causing Santana's to smirk knowing she was making her nervous. "Am I making you nervous?" She coos to the girl before letting her lips fall into the nap of Quinn Fabrays neck, lightly tracing it with her lips. A very audible lump in the hazel eyed girls throat was cleared and goose bumps began covering the exposed parts of her skin, "I-I'm very confused right now…why are you taking advantage of me while I've been drinking?" She asked, too shocked by what was happening to move. "I'm not taking advantage of you…that's not even possible. I've seen how you react to being uncomfortable" The Latina purrs into Quinn's ear before taking a nibble on it. Against her best effort, a slight moan escaped the blondes lips as the confusion still ran through her head. Why was Santana doing this? They've been friends since forever and never once has the girl ever hit on her like she had Brittany. Brittany. "Santana…" She breathed out as the girl was starting the kiss and suck lightly at her neck, hands now gently massaging her hips. "Aren't you with Brittany…?" She fought to say, finding it hard to do so as the distraction continued sending tingles through her body. Stopping what she's doing, Santana looks into hazel eyes, her eyebrows arched and a sly grin on her face, "Actually…" looking around to be a smart ass, "I'm pretty sure it's just us right now" With that she hardened her grip on the girls hips, pushing her relaxing body back uptight before nipping at the girls neck and making her way to Quinn's jaw line. Truth was Quinn couldn't decipher between if it was the alcohol that was allowing her to go along with this, or if she actually wanted this to be happening._

_Sure she had just been standing with plenty of boys who would be more then willing to be in the Latinas current position right now, and she had been flirting with them all night. But the moment she saw Santana she almost wished the girl would interrupt and take her away from the group of guys who could be mistaken for her entourage. If she had to be honest, Quinn was finding them all very alike, and it was boring her causing her to drink more and more just to feel even slightly entertained. And this is why she wasn't sure why she was allowing this. "Mmm" she hums from the back of her throat as she feels plump lips finally move onto her own, and soft hands tracing down the outside of her skirt. Santana was feeling pretty proud of herself at this point, not only was she getting much wanted revenge on Brittany, but with the most beautiful, uptight girl in school who just happened to be completely straight and her friend. This moment was complete brilliance for Santana causing her to wonder why she hadn't thought of it before, she knew Quinn has a million secrets, and secretly wanting her was not one of them since Santana has caught the girl checking her out on multiple occasions. _

_Santana smirked wider as her hand made its way beneath the blondes skirt and to damp place between Quinn's legs, "This better be our little secret…" Quinn made sure to threaten, stopping her hand before it went any further. Looking into her eyes, Santana winks a chestnut eye at her in her way of promising. "I'll keep you my dirty little secret" She mumbles once more before crashing her lips onto Quinn's._

It amazed Santana how vivid her memory was sometimes. She felt those dam hormones trying to get the best of her once more and she knew she couldn't let it, though, the thought of Quinn would probably linger until she could find the courage to talk to her. About Brittany. About her. About anything for the matter. "Damn pride…." Santana curses herself, throwing her phone to the side and digging her head into her pillow for another night.

Two weeks, four days, five hours. How much longer could she hold out without freaking out?


	2. Chapter 2

Rachael stared at the feet that were pacing a hole in her new designer rug. For the life of her she couldn't understand why Santana of all people was letting a break-up cause her to isolate herself from the amazing world around her, and even more so she couldn't understand why Quinn Fabray decided to come over unannounced and almost skeptical about it. Last she heard they weren't even friends anymore, another thing she couldn't understand for the life of her.

"Um…Quinn…"She finally says, bringing her eyes from Quinn's feet to her face. "You know, not that watching you wear out a brand new rug isn't fun and all but…why exactly are you so worried about Santana? I mean besides the fact she might be dead and hanging in her apartment" Quinn stopped pacing and looked down at the girl. This could either go one of two ways, she could tell Rachael the truth of why they haven't spoke in a year, basically confessing her deepest secret, or she could do what she usually does and lie. "When have you ever seen Santana this closed off from the world? And that's not funny…" She arches an eyebrow at the short brunette. "Okay," She says, sitting next to the girl, folding her hands over themselves. "Yes, I haven't spoken to her in a while and that's exactly why I'm here" Rachael looks at Quinn even more confused then before. "Wouldn't it make more sense to be at Santana's then and not my apartment?" She asks innocently only receiving a meaner look in return. "Well first off, I don't know where she lives, and second off…" Quinn's shoulders drop and she sighs, "I have no idea what to say to her…" Memories of her last high school party, the last time they spoke, flashed through her mind. To this day she still wasn't sure if she was just embarrassed by the whole thing or offended for being a pawn in Santana's schemes to get back at Brittany, who had also been one of her friends at the time making it just that much worse then it already was. An ounce of guilt mixed with frustration crossed through Quinn's actions, causing her to prop her head into her hands.

"Well I can give you her address and you could probably start with a hello…just forget the part where you ask how she's doing because that's kind of obvious" Rachael says with a grin and a nod of her head. Today was supposed to be for vocal practice, not people practice, and Quinn was greatly messing up the pattern of things. Kind of like she did in high school.

It was noon, not that Santana knew that for a fact, but the sun was peeking through her curtains reminding her that life was going on outside and that she was alone once again, in the dark, with nothing but the sound of her own thoughts. "Fuck off…" She curses at the sun through the pillow her face was buried in, letting it know that she didn't give a shit about what time it was. As she was about to close her eyes and pretend to sleep, the alarm on her radio started and she knew what was coming, making her slightly happy.

_I'm tired of trying  
>your teasing aint enough<br>Fed up of biding your time  
>When I don't get nothing back<br>and for and for and for  
>When I don't get nothing back<br>Boy i'm tired_

Adele was the only inspiration for the Latina to even attempt to push herself out of the bed. Part of her wanted to stay there forever but after two weeks of doing nothing but lying there, the depression was starting to get to her and she just knew she had to at least get up and brush her hair and teeth. Maybe she would call Puke or Rachael. Maybe even Quinn if she got the courage. "Ha yeah…not happening" Santana found herself actually getting sick of her own voice. She was so use to rolling over and hearing, "Good morning beautiful the earth says hello" from the sweet blonde she use to call her girlfriend. That memory made her stomach churn.

Santana was struggling to push the thought of Brittany out of her head and just get through brushing her teeth without wanting to cry. She had never felt so pathetic. But then again she never expected to be missing someone as much as she did. It was like the only nice part in her died. This is what happened to Scrooge and the Grinch, she now was like them. That thought brought up the fact that it was December. And that only brought up so much more. Luckily before retreating into her thoughts her C.D began to skip and that was the queue to stop thinking and stop scrubbing her teeth so harshly.

"Alright Alright! I fucking hear you!" She yells at her radio, storming into her room and shutting it off all together. An exhausted sigh escaped her lips as she relaxed onto her bed, finger in her hair and elbows on her knees. Before she could even escape into another more then likely self destructive thought, a light knock came from her front door. "_Please don't be Brittany, Please don't be Brittany"_ She found herself panicking at the thought of being on mental breakdown and close to the edge, last thing she wanted was for Brittany to see her that way or really ever anyone for that matter.

Quinn waited patiently outside the door debating on if she should knock again, or louder, or do the logical thing and use the door bell. _"Oh Quinny what are you doing?"_ Getting ready to turn and run, the door opened and there she was. Santana had always been gorgeous, and Quinn had been jealous of her on more then one occasion but this…this made her heart stop in place. Her once beautiful eyes were puffy, probably from the random out burst of tears that happens about every fifteen to twenty minutes. She had seen this look before, but only a couple times after she had looked in the mirror after giving up Beth. This was losing a part of you. An attachment. This was a none describable heartbreak that everyone has to feel at least once in their life and it immediately made Quinn regret coming here knowing there was nothing she could do or say to make it better.

Quinn had to play it cool though, even if she wanted answers or not, Santana obviously needed someone and everyone besides her and Brittany had been afraid of the girl at one point or another. "Oh San…" She says empathetically, wrapping her arms around the girl's neck and inviting herself into the apartment by making Santana walk backwards while she hugged her probably unwillingly. Letting go she closes the door behind her before turning around to look at a rather miserable and confused Latina. "Come." She demands, grabbing the girls hand and dragging her to the couch.

"Quinn why are you here…just cut the bull shit I'm in no mood to have people feel sorry for me" Tired brown eyes look seriously into the hazel ones beside her and she realizes Quinn is still holding her hand . "I'm not here to feel sorry for you, I'm just…."The petite blonde paused to search for the right delicate words, "I'm just here. I've been worried about you. Rach told me about you and B and how you refuse to talk or leave your apartment. You remember that month I hid at my house from the world…" Santana remembered it very well, after that month Quinn came back worse then she left, pink mess of a hair and a terrible attitude towards life. It had scared Santana seeing her like that. "Un ángel caído" Santana mumbled, she knew then that she shouldn't push Quinn away. Because if anything, the white girl sitting beside her probably understood more then anyone else what she was going through.

Quinn's eyebrows knitted at the barely audible mumble from Santana, "What about an angel?" She asks not really understanding why Santana randomly zoned off and said that. Santana's eyes snap back up at the girl, a frown still mounting her lips as she sighs heavily letting her shoulders drop. "I don't really see why you care though, I mean we haven't spoken in almost a year….you didn't even hug me at graduation" Santana pried. Quinn's heart froze for a moment as she thought back to the night that changed her relationship with the Latina forever. The night that also changed the way she thought of herself was sending shivers down her spine.

"I didn't feel it would be appropriate hanging out with you and Britt's considering…" As much as Quinn didn't want to finish the sentence, she knew she had to. "Considering you were both my friends who just happened to be dating at the time and I did that to Brittany. She never deserved it." Santana found her ears ringing loudly at what the girl next to her just said, the same thing she told herself more then she could count. Brittany didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve any of the fucked up situations that happened, even though Brittany had done the same thing the fact of the matter is that she's as naive as they get and Santana isn't. It's like tricking the mentally disabled into shop lifting for you and them forever being under the impression that it's alright to do. Feeling utterly horrified with herself, the muscles in Santana's face started to tighten and before she could have a chance to control it, her eyes began to flood.

Quinn panicked as she saw this. She never intended to make Santana feel bad for it. "Santana…I didn't mean it that way, I felt bad for making you think it was okay and honestly I partially blame myself for what is going on with you…" She knew this wouldn't make the girl stop crying as she watched her grab her own face into her hands. "Just please. It's not that I didn't want to be around you. It was awkward. I've always wanted to be around you Santana and more then ever now I just want to help you in anyway I can." Santana listened as Quinn tried to justify herself, it wasn't her fault she was crying and if she made her even slightly feel that way then she was just doing the same thing she does to everyone in her life and push them away.

Quinn swallows a lump within her throat, "I understand if you want to be alone….just please call me and let me know your not hanging yourself from your balcony" As she began to leave, a hand shot up grabbing hers gently causing the petite blonde to stop in her tracks and look down at the crying girl. "Please….just stays with me right now" She said with pleading brown eyes staring into the hazel ones above her. Quinn retook her spot on the couch next to the girl, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close. "I'll stay as long as you need me to" was the only promise Quinn could make to the girl knowing that like Santana, she was so scared in this moment the only difference being Santana is scared of being alone while Quinn was just scared of being with her.

A/N- Wow I'm very surprised by the amount of subscribers. I haven't written a fic in a while. Please review! Helps fuel the flames which well help me update sooner. I love feedback and suggestions. Thank you guys!


	3. Chapter 3

Quinn's eyes wouldn't budge. After avoiding this extent of drama for so long it was so hard to even begin to fathom the battles that had happened in this very apartment she was now lying in upon Santana's request. It was a day of horror stories for already having to walk on eggshells Quinn Fabray, she hadn't even known the innocent blonde and Santana; who seemed to be more in love with the girl then any other human being on this earth, had such a terrible end.

In the worn apartment there were battle scars that were hard to find but luckily Quinn was gifted with such great sight having spotted every single one of them. It started when she needed to use the restroom, as the blonde was washing her hands she noticed a hole the size of a small fist in the mirror and examined it closely. Only Santana was capable of that strength, Brittany couldn't even cut a piece of paper in half without feeling like she was murdering the other papers brother. Then later on when Santana was in the shower, Quinn's curiosity got the best of her once more and took a walk through of the apartment finding a broken phone with a unicorn on the back of it. That had caused the blonde to frown even more then she had been since she had a chance to let down her guard while the Latina girl who she feared for took a shower.

Santana stirred in her sleep towards the other girl and Quinn smiled slightly at how Santana looked when she slept. Her facial expression was always the same, very angry, even when Santana wasn't angry it forever came off that way to everyone they ever knew. The peacefulness of the girl made her jealous but not enough to where she would sink to the level of taking over the counter drugs to get a full nights rest. Quinn couldn't believe it when Santana told her that, not only was she using this to repress her feelings but she was also hurting herself by doing this and starting an addiction that Quinn wasn't quite sure Santana exactly knew how to handle. Truth was Quinn couldn't even begin to think of how she could help Santana, was she enabling her by sitting by idly as she watched Santana take these to fall asleep? Or was she just making sure she wasn't crossing her boundaries with the girl by walking on eggshells? All she knew at this point was after everything she witnessed today, she can't leave the girls side or she'll spiral even further down this hole than she already has.

By eleven it was beginning to get frustrating that Quinn couldn't fall asleep because her mind wouldn't stop thinking about every little aspect of every single thing that was happening around her and on top of that she was couldn't stop wondering why all of this was such a big deal to her. Quinn would be lying if she said she never thought of Santana because truth was she thought of the girl almost everyday since her bold decision to cut the girl out of her life and all she could do is lay here and be strong for her since it was partially her fault that this even happened to the girl. Quinn lets out sigh trying to force her self to relax as she looks over at Santana who was facing her.

"No no none of that…" Santana throws her arm over Quinn, pulling her in tightly to herself. Quinn was shocked at first wondering if the girl was still sleeping and did this out of habit. "Santana…?" She whispers gently to see if she could get a reply from the women who just wrapped herself tightly around the petite blonde. After a moment a tired swallowing sound comes from the girl with her eyes closed, "Quinn shut up and close your damn eyes, I know I'm hot but you can only stare at me for so long before it breaks into my dreams and wakes me up. You're so creepy…" A husky voice came out slowly before Santana buried herself deeper into Quinn's side. As much as the blonde wanted to say something in retaliation she couldn't bring herself to do it for several reasons all of them being that Santana is in a bad emotional position and now had Quinn in her arms and was breathing hot air onto the soft spot on her neck. Panicking for the hundredth time today, Quinn thinks quickly turning to her side but holding onto Santana's hand in fear of her being offended.

"Seriously though stop worrying so much about me clear your mind and please for the love of god sleep or I'm going to hate myself when you're exhausted because of me" This time Santana spoke louder, she could feel the uneasiness like a sonic wave coming off of Quinn and she was way to groggy to actually do anything about it but knew if she didn't at least say something, she would end up hating herself for what Quinn is doing for her in the morning. So for both their sakes, something had to be said. "Alright, I will" With that Quinn sank into the bed, Santana's arm over her, and was able to sleep within thirty minutes having to remind herself that as long as she was here, her friend would be too and that's all that mattered.

Sun started peeking through the curtains but this time Santana was already awake and staring at Quinn who was sleeping. As the events of yesterday unfolded in her mind, Santana felt a wave of guilt and gratefulness about the beautiful blonde sitting next to her. Even thought the Latina had let out her and Brittany's horror stories on the girl and basically went off about how she had no purpose left in life, instead of doing the smart thing and running, Quinn stayed with her all night. Quinn held her all night. The moment Santana would roll over, the petite girl would follow suite and mold with her body. It felt nice. Quinn felt nice.

Though her drug induced courage was gone, Santana debated on putting her arm over Quinn just to feel her warmth one last time before she woke up and this envitably came to an end. Santana carefully snakes her arm over the girl's stomach and in return Quinn rolls onto her side, pulling the girl into her chest. The shorter brunette looked up to see if her eyes were closed and they were.

Quinn however was actually awake and relieved that Santana was showing her that she wanted her there, despite the fact she probably thought the blonde was sleeping. She had been worried all day yesterday about being told to fuck off like Santana usually did, somehow the girl was really good at bottling up her emotions but for the first time since she knew her, Quinn had never seen that side of Santana. A vulnerable side she was sure she'd probably never see again.

Santana had still been looking up at the girl who was now holding her once more, she had looked at Quinn a lot but never from this close and it was nice to see the finer features. Her skin was a perfect ivory complexion, not one single freckle or zit, perfectly proportioned cheek bones to match her beautiful big eyes and cute button nose. No wonder why every guy fell over themselves in high school for this girl, she really did have the whole princess thing going for her. Looking at the strand of hair that fell into one of Quinn's closed eyes Santana couldn't help but to feel annoyed by it awkwardly hanging there so summoning up some more courage, she brushes a light finger through it moving it to the side.

Feeling the warmth on her cheek, Quinn reaches up, stopping Santana's hand and keeping it there. Hazel eyes flutter open and she looks down at her friend with a tiny smile. "Santana…" She whispers and watches as the brown eyes look at her astonished by this situation. "Yes….?" The Latina replies nervous about everything that's happening around her. She knew she wasn't suppose to be feeling anxious for Quinn's touch or voice but for some reason she couldn't help it, she had never felt like she needed someone next to her so badly in her life until Quinn Fabray showed up at her doorstep yesterday.

Quinn knew Santana was anticipating whatever the blonde was about to say and there was so much she wanted to say. _"Santana I haven't been able to stop thinking of you since the party at pucks. Your touch, your taste, I've never felt so much electricity from one person and I'm burning thinking of you"_ Words Quinn Fabray couldn't bring herself to say and it was becoming an inner battle between swallowing her pride and going for it, or being what the girl needed; a friend, and backing off to let her heal. "Can I use your shower?" Despite what Santana actually wanted to do, she nodded an okay to the girl, getting ready to unravel her only to be stopped by Quinn pulling tighter. "I didn't say I was ready to get up" She quickly said to the girl, grabbing the blanket and pulling it up higher on them. "It's going to snow today you know…" Quinn began not really sure where she was headed with this conversation, Santana even more confused on why they were having conversation. "Yeah…I'm aware…" Santana said no emotion in her voice towards the subject. She knew Quinn was holding back, the blonde rarely started meaningless conversations and definitely never with Santana who had made a statement all through out high school about not giving a shit about what people have to say unless it's actually important.

"I want you to be okay" The blonde stated, rubbing her hand up and down the Latina's arm, sending immediate shivers down her spine, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you Santana in any way. It was already hard enough staying away from you all last year and I really don't think I have the strength to do that again" She says gently to the girl, closing her eyes as she remembers how awful it was to see her everyday and not say anything, to watch all her amazing performances and pretend she never had. She didn't even hug her at graduation and she regretted it everyday.

This had finally caught the Latina's amusement; did Quinn Fabray really just say she didn't have the strength to stay away from her _anymore_? It quickly was driving Santana so far past the point of curiosity that she wanted nothing more then Quinn to spill the beans on why she even stayed away from her in the first place, she promised to keep it a secret why hadn't that been good enough? Quinn had always been Santana's side kick and was so quick to leave her after they did that like they had a million times before. It all confused the brunette who stared seriously into Quinn's eyes. "Why did you stop talking to me? I promised to keep it a secret and when have I ever broke a promise to you?" She asked, trying not to seem too rushed to hear an answer. With that, Quinn let go of the girl and slinked off the bed barely looking at her as she made her way towards the door, "I really should take that shower now. Don't want to waste the whole day away, I've got something very special planned for you" She says quickly, escaping the room before they get into a deep conversation. Santana was in no condition for this conversation, she was still fragile from yesterday and the only way to do this was to build the girl up before possibly bringing her down with the truth Quinn had been hiding since that night at Pucks.


	4. Chapter 4

It was almost too much to take, being seen in a Nissan Cube, restless with all the thoughts that were running through Santana's mind right now, and worse of all she had spent the last hour trying to understand how Quinn became so different within a year and a half of not seeing the petite blonde. And then she couldn't take it anymore. "Okay Q. This music…like seriously? And where the hell are you taking me? We've been in this dam car for over an hour! And speaking of the car-" Quinn cuts her off by laughing at the obviously irritated girl in her passenger seat. "Whoa calm down there killer" Quinn says with a breathy voice, completely comfortable and use to this kind of reaction from Santana. "First of all don't hate on my car. My father got me this when he decided to make amends for shunning me for three years" She arches her eyebrow, small grin tugging at the corner of her lips, "The music is something I picked up at my first job, and really if you would listen to the depths of the lyrics then you may understand why I'm so into it."

Santana still didn't understand and it didn't help that Quinn didn't answer the most important question she asked but she figured the girl was going to avoid answering it at all costs, rendering her attempts inevitably useless. "How can you even understand the lyrics? He sounds like someone just tied his foreskin to a ceiling fan and put it on high" Being completely serious Santana crossed her arms, slouching down in the chair and staring out into the snow covered roads. The beautiful blonde dramatically gasps offended by the statement, "Come Back Kid is one of the oldest most talented hardcore bands out there next to Bane! But you know what-" She pushes the button on her CD changer, "Since I'm such a good friend I'll change it just for you" Sarcasm placed in her tone. Santana stared at Quinn as the CD went from bad to awful. At this rate, Santana was almost debating risking her life in a tuck and roll situation, the snow would definitely soften the blow.

One hundred seventy four miles and three hours later they arrive at their destination, the Latina still extremely unhappy that she had even been dragged out of her apartment into this freezing cold weather anyways and seeing for what, made the Latina even more unimpressed and slightly gag to herself. "You dragged me to Cleveland for karaoke? Are you fucking kidding me…?" Santana lifts her left hand to rub her forehead and Quinn laughs at how distraught the girl is over karaoke. "Come on" The blonde quickly jumps out of the car making herself around it to drag the other girl out, "We have people waiting for us inside. Santana stop your pouting and get your sexy ass inside so we can have some fun!" The blonde demands, not even realizing at this point what exactly came out of her mouth during that sentence. The shock factor made Santana give into it, letting Quinn pull her out of the car with one last tug and drag her into **Sing Sing**. "_What the fuck…"_ Was all she could think as she stared at the table full of people, everyone she didn't want to see including Rachel Berry. "Hey!" The table said in unison as they dispersed from all interactions, swarming themselves around the now very uncomfortable, but slightly happier Latina. She would have never thought so many people would go out of their ways just for a get together, one that was obviously planned for Santana. It was almost overwhelming but that girl quickly pushed it aside as she hugged everyone who came up to her, Puck giving her a squeeze and a spin, Tina flinching during it, Finn suffocating her, the only really normal hug she got was from monkey lips, which she really felt like calling him at the moment.

Thirty minutes later everyone was making their rounds on stage, and being out in public was starting to feel more normal for Santana as her and Rachel discussed what New York was like and how being on her leave from Broadway until spring was going. She hadn't really seen Rachel since she left but the girl must have been very lonely calling Santana almost everyday she was there just to talk about ridiculous stuff and the girl had to bare it knowing that it was partially her fault Berry even got one of the most sought after rolls at the time, Last Summer At Bluefish cove was a big success upon it's recasting, winning the play several awards and a Tony for Rachel herself yet the girl was still unhappy and Santana was the only person who actually knew why.

Quinn couldn't help but to watch the girls as they chatted, if Rachel made her this comfortable then why isn't she trying harder to pick up the pieces of Santana like Quinn herself had been trying so hard to do? And when the hell did these two become so close anyways? Did hell freeze over? Was Santana on legitimate drugs? "Hello? Earth to Quinn is you there? You have a very ugly scowl on your face" A tanned hand waved in front of the girls face snapping her out of her confusion, "It's your turn, you dragged me down here so you better get up there and sing good for my entertainment" Santana half threatened with a smile growing across her face. Shaking out of her head, Quinn stood and made her way towards the stage already having planned out the song she wanted to sing in advance. Being on stage again made the blonde some what nervous and even more self conscious as she tugged at the hem of her long sleeve thin black shirt, she hadn't realized how nerve racking it must actually be to sing about something you know and care about compared to all the bullshit they had her sing in glee.

As the music started up, the song was immediately recognized by Santana and probably everyone else in the room, and it was a relief considering the dark brunette was almost sure she was going to sing that crap she was playing in her clown mobile. Quinn's voice sounded beautiful as she began singing a completely stripped down version of Paramore'sMiracle, causing Santana's heart to almost stop and kill over. It didn't help that Quinn kept staring at her with deep hazel eye's that she already struggled to keep out of her mind since this morning, boy is this girl the queen of mixed signals.

"We learned to run from, anything uncomfortable, We've tied our pain below and no one ever has to know" Quinn sung gracefully, causing Santana to look away from her. _God damn Quinn, you should've actually answered my question this morning and I wouldn't be feeling this way _The girl thought silently to herself as she was mesmerized by the song and turned her head back up only to be met with hazel eyes.

"We'll get it right this time, Let's leave this all behind oh why-" Before the Latina knew it the song had ended and everyone was doing a standing ovation except for herself who was still to stuck on those lyrics and that stare the girl had been giving her throughout the entire performance. Quickly realizing how awkward she making herself actually come off, Santana stands and hugs Quinn, complimenting the performance as she did so.

"Okay Santana! You're up girl!" Puck says dumbly as he gently pats the girl on the shoulder, encouraging her. Swallowing her inner doubt, she took stage ignoring all her self conscious thoughts as she did so. Showing vulnerability in front of a large group was deemed unacceptable by the girl, they all looked at her as the not afraid of anything type of girl and though it wasn't high school, she felt it appropriate to maintain her reputation of bad ass proportions. It was going to be hard following Quinn though, she'd never seen blondie put so much emotion and effort into a song before and they were in glee together everyday for three years. Except the exceptions when they weren't. But that happened to almost everyone.

Quinn had noticed the slight peak in confidence that spiked in Santana as she took the stage, she had also noticed how giddy Rachel Berry was once it was on Santana's turn to sing, causing her to arch a slightly annoyed and confused eyebrow at the girl but quickly paying her attention back to the stage where Sam was now standing behind Santana with a guitar, causing the same confusion she had wash over the table of people.

"Okay. Many of you don't know this because lady lips here and I are very good at keeping any bonding we may have from the public" She grins into the microphone, "But we had a side band for a while during senior year, he's really good at the guitar and what he lacks in vocal talent amongst wits and good looks, I make up for" Sam frowned at that holding his arms up, "Hey!" He defends and Santana winks at him causing him to smile wide and laughter to scatter throughout the table.

Quick fingers began pacing chords, signaling silence from the group and lyrics started immediately. "The drugs begin to peak, a smile of joy arrives in me but sedation changes to panic and nausea and breath starts to shorten and heart beats pound softer" A beautifully rough voice sings a steady pace into the microphone, getting louder at all the right parts. Santana was just full of surprises all her life, so for Quinn this was no different. Though the girl had made fun of her music in the car, this was another genre of music the girl had almost been certain she was the only one who enjoyed. Until now. Watching the performance nearly broke everyone at the table's heart, as they all got up to hug the girl who kept a surprisingly strong face for such an emotional song. Quinn kept her distance though replaying the events of yesterday and tonight in her mind, not only was Santana completely heartbroken, using, and very wishy washy towards the blonde, now other questions were there like why Rachel Berry and her got along so well and why Rachel kept acting so giddy around the girl she had never been friends with before as far as the blonde was concerned. And when the hell did Santana and Sam have a side band? Guilt and regret plagued the blonde who thought once more about the year of not talking to Santana, she had missed absolutely so much including the Latina girl herself.

Back in the car, Quinn had made sure to turn the radio on for Santana who was currently searching through her over sized bag for a bottle of water. "So that wasn't that bad right? I mean sure the drive is completely crazy but you needed to get out of the house" Quinn breaks the silence as the other girl accomplishes fishing out a water bottle along with another bottle, "Must you take those right now" The blonde says before she could even stop herself.

Santana looks at her, eyes looming with curiosity as she knew this was the perfect time to take advantage and play Quinn's emotions to her advantage. "I guess that depends…are you going to answer my question on why you didn't talk to me for nearly a year and a half?" She arches an eyebrow at the girl in a testing manner. Even if the girl didn't want to answer, that would be enough to get her from giving the tan girl the evil eye every time she pulls out a bottle of pills.

A tongue darts across the blonde's lower lip before gnawing on it, obviously caught off guard by the question. "Erm…" She clears her throat taking a quick decision and changing the top, "So you and Berry are pretty cozy, did I miss hell freezing over?" Though she tried to make it sound casual, a hint of jealousy spat out with the question, causing Santana to choke on the water and pill she had now been downing, "What the fuck S?" She exclaims, watching half of the liquid go from Santana's throat unto her passenger side floor as the girl coughs out the remainder of scattered air.

"Wow good job" Quinn rolls her eyes and the brunette darts a glare over at the girl, "Okay. Touché. So we both have something we'd prefer not to answer. You can consider it even." The rest of the ride back to Santana's apartment was quiet with the soft sounds of music playing throughout the car.

Once back at the apartment both girls were tired from the six hours spent in a car, and four spent in an over rated karaoke club, and to top it off, awkwardness surrounded them with questions left unanswered and curiosity's plaguing both girls with silently got ready for bed with the unspoken knowing that Quinn would be staying as long as Santana couldn't control her urge to self destruct. Silence and darkness filled the room once they laid there, only to be broken slightly as the covers made sounds once Santana rolled onto her side, slinking an arm she had been trying to will herself to do for fifteen minutes, over the petite blonde's side only to be met with fingers tangling into hers.

"I didn't want to stop talking to you…" a husky whisper came from the blonde who made no other movement as she stared at the wall in front of her to explain, "You were with Brittany…." Was the only way she knew to safely tread light upon the situation that occurred between everyone. Santana lets out a small sigh, "Yeah….you knew this and never had a problem being my friend before" She replies, pushing the subject. "Santana. You know exactly what we did" The blonde says, squeezing the girls hand as she became serious about this, "And you know I would be lying if I said I didn't like it, if I didn't-" Swallowing hard, Quinn wasn't ready to admit this to the girl, she knew she wouldn't get the reaction she wanted, especially with the girl beside her still in a state of longing for the other blonde that once laid in the spot Quinn herself was now laying in.

Though these thoughts depressed Quinn, she needed to push them aside because even if she couldn't have Santana in the way she truly desired, she wanted the girl to still be her friend and was willing to get over that in order to have this conversation that might quite possibly blow up in her face. "If I didn't have feelings for you I could never explore the way I wanted" She finally spit out and Santana immediately felt like a hand was wrapped around her heart, squeezing out the last ounce of love or compassion she ever felt for anything. This couldn't be happening now, after all the time Santana spent wondering why her best friend completely abandoned her, and this was the reason. Suddenly feeling resentment towards the confession she couldn't take it any more and needed Quinn to feel how she felt, "I slept with Rachel."


End file.
